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Obedience concept

Obedience concept
I received the following message and would like to share it with the readers and its significance:
(Dr. Hossam:
I love and respect what you do and document in your articles.. I love to follow your conversations about the human values ​​that you strive to achieve on the ground.. In fact, there is no way to reach your goal except through education.. and through it.
Your dialogues about young people motivate us not only to think, but to deal positively.. find solutions and pave the way for them.. but from my experience, I know that you have a lot of work to do to integrate all these values ​​into the reality and conscience of society.
Commenting on one of the values ​​that I imagine you set to spark discussion and know how young people perceive it, which is obedience, the dialogue affected me greatly.
My father raised us all on the importance of “obedience to the husband.” He established this value in us, as if we are moving from obedience to the father to obedience to a new guardian… and that we are allowed to discuss if he agrees to the discussion, but in the end, the final opinion is his and the word is his word.
I realized that I had spent my life doing many things that did not agree with me, just to please my husband in obedience to him as my father had raised me.. In the end I could not continue and we separated.
My question is: Why is obedience to the husband obligatory.. Are we because we are a patriarchal society that considers women less than men in value and influence?!.
I thought about the intertwining of events in our lives, which led to where we are.. My reflection made me realize that much of what I thought was value gained from my father’s essentially unreal pressure.
My husband did not accept the discussion.. He was angry.. He tired me and exhausted me.. Every time I told him my opinion he gets angry.. Every time I tell him what I think or want to do, he gets angry, or insists on doing the opposite.. Which made me shut up for years and years.. I got to the point that I I never spoke.. even in my private affairs, he liked to interfere and control.. Over time, I realized that this was a weakness from him and not a strength.. He was trying to control even my dealings with those around me.. my family and friends… what he did to me on Over the years, I can’t forget it.. and until now it affects me.. I get very angry if I find some of it in my children.. Two days ago, my son dealt with me in a manner close to the style of his father.. I got angry at him and stopped him at the limit that he should stick with me.. I saw What compulsion and obedience did to my psyche and my sense of self.. I cannot bear that someone else would try to think, even from afar, of dealing with me in the same manner of “command and obedience” again..or to make me feel the humiliation I was feeling.. Or to manipulate my feelings and reinforce my guilt if I do not do to him what he wants.. We must not allow anyone to negatively affect our feelings.. To make us feel guilty for just spending some time for ourselves away from him.. Absolutely selfish to demand that he obey my God Divorced, as my father told me, and as his father often said to his sister.
I know that I naturally pamper the people I love a lot.. by my own free will and not by force. I do not accept anyone dictating to me what he thinks I should do.. If my husband wants my attention and care, this is understandable and this is his right.. I also have the right to receive his attention and respect.
I did not shut up in the end, and with a smile I told him everything inside me .. I can no longer accept this humiliation and oppression of my humanity, I am not a slave to a husband or a son, as if my father sold me in the slave market under the influence of a societal masculine value that he does not accept
The right person is obedience to the husband in all circumstances.
I know that I entered into topics other than your article..but it may be related to the values ​​that must be inculcated in future generations, and the distinction between mutual respect and a value instilled in the conscience of men through customs and practices that we must reconsider.
For the record, I divorced after 25 years of marriage, although I loved my husband at first, by virtue of our upbringing also to love those we associate with, but I could not stand it, and as soon as my children became an age that allowed them to understand and assimilate, I took him off and finished imposing obedience.
I am still in good relations with his mother, who is comfortable with me and I visit her in her illness, and I have never abused him in front of our children, but I will not allow them to be masters of their wives.
And by the way, Dr. Hussam.. the people most willing to be slaves to the ruler or the guardian are the most enslaved to women and the weak. As if the value of obedience creates the dictator and the slave at the same time. The youth did well to express themselves.. and I salute you once again for enlightening minds.
I told her:
In a discussion with the young dreamers of tomorrow who meet with me weekly and we were talking about the human values ​​that we should work on deepening, obedience was mentioned as a value that represents respect, but the youth revolted like you and said: linking the value of respect with obedience is completely rejected. Basically obedience is to the slaves, not to the free. We understand adherence to rules, we understand dialogue with respect, we understand commitment to contract or agreement… As for obedience, it means giving up reason and enslaving humans.
So I said to them: I remind you in support of your words that the entrance to enlightenment of mankind in the dark ages was the departure from the obedience of the clergy with their beliefs and the men of authority who wish to control the peoples.
The philosopher Immanuel Kant was an inspiration for his time in his article “Dare to Know,” stressing the importance of man’s exit from the stage of mental deficiency and his reaching the age of maturity or the age of adulthood. He defined mental deficiency as dependence on others, and the inability to think personally or to behave in life, or to make any decision without consulting his guardians.. From this perspective, his enlightening cry came to say: Use your minds, people, and have the courage, so do not eat anymore. And do not give in to laziness, the able and the written, move, activate and engage in life in a positive and insightful way.
In fact, there are levels that are comfortable with patriarchal ignorant societies that order a woman to obey her husband, believing that she is a minor and is not on an equal footing with the husband.
The protection of man lies in educating him to become mature and able to rely on himself, using his mind to liberate himself from the beliefs and facts taught to him through a history of much ignorance.
And I add that the Noble Qur’an, when it gave men guardianship over women, linked it to spending on the family and with what God favored some of them with
On some, that is, knowledge, knowledge and ability.
In our world today, the idea that a woman is less than a man and may even exceed him, with her knowledge, wisdom, and participation in life, has been rejected.
We note here that I am not talking about obedience to God, because it is between man and himself and his Lord, because he is the Creator and there is no equality with him.
I also remind you that obedience is a psychological act, and may be a form of “social influence in which a person submits to the express instructions or orders of an authoritative figure.”
Obedience is generally distinguished from conformity, which is behavior influenced by peers, and conformity, which is behavior intended to conform to the behavior of the majority. Depending on the context, “obedience” can be considered a moral behavior in the context of the organization of armies, for example, or immoral or immoral if it is linked to the power of one human being over another simply for control or advantage.
Here, I can only conclude this article that civilization is made only by the free, and that slavery in all its political and social forms is rejected.. It is rejected, my children.. It differs from compliance with the law that society accepts and which applies to everyone without selectivity, and it controls the value of freedom and equality. .
Wisdom and experience says:
The most difficult thing we face to free a man from slavery is to convince him that he is not a slave.