I recently heard a simple remark, delivered spontaneously in everyday language, yet it stayed with me: “It is easy to be rude and hurt others, but what is truly difficult is to be courteous, dignified, and respectful in the way we speak about others.” I paused over these words for a long time because they challenge an assumption that has taken root in the minds of many of us. We have come to believe that boldness lies in raising our voices, that courage is demonstrated through hurtful words, and that anyone who speaks politely is merely being diplomatic or acting out of fear. The truth, however, is precisely the opposite.
Falling Requires No Effort
In nature, falling requires no energy. Gravity takes care of everything. Climbing upward, by contrast, demands strength, determination, and endurance. The same is true of speech. Personal attacks are an instinctive reaction, a quick release of anger, helplessness, or a sense of defeat. They require neither knowledge nor evidence nor thought. All it takes is to find a weakness in your opponent and exploit it.
Courtesy, however, requires self-control in moments of anger and self-confidence strong enough to eliminate the need to belittle others in order to feel your own worth. A truly courteous person is not someone who is incapable of causing harm, but someone who has the power to do so and consciously chooses not to. Courtesy is strength under restraint, not weakness in disguise.
The most difficult form of courtesy is not remaining silent about the truth, for that is hypocrisy, not good manners. Rather, it is telling the whole painful truth in language that does not humiliate the person hearing it. It is disagreeing with an idea while respecting the human being who holds it.
When Disagreement Turns into Hostility
Our intellectual heritage has taught us the following principle: “My opinion is correct, but it may be wrong; the opinion of others is wrong, but it may be correct.”
This statement is not merely an expression of verbal humility; it represents an entire approach to thinking. It assumes that truth is greater than any one of us and that those who disagree with us may possess a part of it.
So, what has happened to us?
Differences of opinion have come to be interpreted as betrayal, criticism as hostility, and questions as accusations. We no longer discuss ideas; instead, we attack the intentions of those who express them, then question their patriotism, their religion, and finally their moral character. Whoever commands the loudest voice or the largest platform begins to believe that noise itself constitutes proof.
This does not come from one side alone. Sometimes it comes from those who wield influence and authority, who cannot tolerate opposing views and attach the worst labels to those who express them. At other times, it comes from angry online crowds that put people on trial, pronounce judgment, and carry out their sentences within minutes. In both cases, the result is the same: dialogue dies.
Imagine Egypt as our shared home, inhabited by siblings who disagree over how their country should be governed. Their differences are a source of wealth. One sees what another cannot, while someone else draws attention to a danger that everyone has overlooked. The resulting decision becomes wiser and more balanced.
But when accusations of betrayal become their language and mockery their weapon, everyone stops listening. The reasonable withdraw because they refuse to be humiliated. The fearful remain silent because they do not want to be accused. And those who dominate the public arena are no longer the ones with the soundest arguments, but the ones with the loudest voices.
Then, afterward, they wonder why the walls are crumbling.
A home that cannot accommodate differences among its inhabitants cannot be protected simply by building higher walls around it.
A Civil State Begins with the Tongue
We speak frequently about the civil state, democracy, the peaceful transfer of power, and individual freedoms. These are all values I believe in and defend. Yet I am increasingly convinced that such values do not begin with constitutions alone. They begin with a deeper cultural foundation: recognizing your right to be wrong in my eyes without depriving you of your dignity.
Democracy, at its core, is not merely a ballot box. It is the institutionalized practice of respectful disagreement. It is an agreement to compete without seeking to eliminate one another.
A society that does not know how to disagree respectfully will never learn how to transfer power peacefully, because every difference of opinion will feel like an existential defeat, and every rival will appear to be an enemy who must be erased.
Hurtful Words Come Cheap, but Their Cost Is High
What respect takes years to build can be destroyed by a single hurtful word in a second. Destruction is always cheaper than construction.
In the age of digital platforms, insults have become a popular currency. Cutting remarks attract attention, sarcasm earns applause, and calm, measured speech seems dull and goes unnoticed.
But we must ask ourselves: What do we gain from a society that applauds those who wound others while ignoring the wise?
We gain noise and lose minds.
A State Built on a National Project or a State Built Around Its Citizens?
The conclusion is simple.
The wisdom behind the words I heard is not a call for flattery or silence. It is a call for one of the most difficult forms of courage: to express fully what you believe, to disagree openly and clearly, and to do so without descending to a level unworthy of either yourself or the person you address.
Courtesy is not an ornament worn by the weak; it is a weapon wielded by the self-assured.
And anyone who needs to insult an opponent in order to defeat them has implicitly admitted that they have no convincing argument.
